Friday, October 19, 2012

Redirect

I just got off the phone with my dad and he (none too gently) reminded me of the ongoing law school applications. My dad has been pushing me to apply for months now, ever since my younger brother started law school this year. I almost always shrug and pass off a joke or two about me being too old for it.

You see, it was my childhood dream to be a lawyer. I was fascinated by shows like L.A. Law in the 80s and Ally McBeal in the 90s. I used to enjoy hanging out at my grandfather's home office and just look at his law books. I grew up thinking that my calling was law.

Then came the teenage rebellion years. My dad kept pressuring me to take a pre-law undergraduate course when it was time to apply for college. I was so annoyed that I chose the farthest away from pre-law; I chose engineering as my first option and math as my second. When I passed my first choice at UP Diliman, I took it as a sign that maybe I was destined for something else. Or maybe I was just vain enough and got thrilled that I got into a quota course. Whatever the reason was, I enrolled in a course that was not in my original life plan.

Engineering was a world I was not prepared for. I always had a sense that I was the odd person out, that I did not belong, that I was of a different mold. It didn't help that I had a tough time understanding my lessons. What came naturally for my peers took me days/weeks/months of intense studying. I knew after the first semester in college that I was in the wrong course, but there were circumstances involved (a boyfriend) that stopped me from changing my course. Later on it was too late for me to shift out. It was out of sheer stubbornness that I graduated from a course I didn't like. As much as I hated my course, I refused to fail and be kicked out. And I did graduate. I even took and passed the board exam. I have a diploma and a professional license to do something I didn't like.

I never used any of the things I studied (and slaved for) in college. I spent two years working as a biomedical engineer (that was what my visa said) where I sold and maintained medical devices. Then I worked as a product executive for a multinational company where one of my tasks was to educate doctors and nurses on my products. I read a lot of medical papers and studies. I gave countless talks to rooms full of doctors, surgeons and nurses. I visited several hospitals on a daily basis, and I was comfortable being inside the operating rooms, ICUs and wards. I even got to observe several operations, including a C-section, ACL replacement and several spine surgeries. I was also somewhat fluent in medical jargon, at least those that involved my product. I was in a totally different world.

I stopped working when I became a mom. Now my days are filled with diapers, breast feeding issues, potty training and nursery rhymes. Our television is almost always on Disney Junior or Baby TV. I talk about Pororo and Doc McStuffin. I talk in a sing-song voice. I have more crayons now than ballpens. The only doctors I talk to now are my OB-GYN and my daughters' pediatrician. Motherhood is not just a different world, it's a different universe!

I am nowhere near my childhood dream, but I love where I am right now. I don't mind not having a typical career. I am content with staying at home with my children. I love that I can be with them the whole day. It's not as flashy and as impressive as being called Attorney, but being a stay-at-home mom is the coolest job I have ever had. I'm happy where life has directed me so far. :)


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